In North America, we tell our kids that they can have, do or be, anything they want. What do they hear when we say that? They hear that they don't have to do, be or have things that they don't want.
We are so concerned with our kids self-images and self-esteem that anything and everything they do gets praise. Praise for cleaning their rooms, and praise for eating their vegetables, and praise for not kicking Aunt Betty in the shins, praise for going to to school, praise for shoddy work, poor effort and lousy performance. All because we want them to like themselves. I think most kids come into this world liking themselves just fine.
We point out over and over again as parents, teachers, relatives and concerned adults, that each child is so special and so unique that the words have completely lost their meaning. And by insisting that our children be special and unique, we exaggerate their differences and not their shared and common responsibilities.
Find more ways to introduce the concept that there are many, many areas in life where they will be doing the very same things as other kids their age. And the expectation is that they, at the very least—be average. Yikes, did I just recommend that you encourage your kids to be average? Trust me, being average is better than failing.
Achieving average marks in Social Studies is better than playing video games instead of doing homework—because, they have been praised from birth that everything they did was a marvel, a true miracle, instead of simple, normal development. And they have bought into the other half of the statement that they don’t have to do things they don’t want to do. But, the truth is, they do have to do some things they don't like-because that is what society demands of them and every other student. And in that way, they are not special or unique. They are one of millions of students who have to go to school every day, like it or not.
This is why I believe that children have to be exposed to the idea that they are going to have to do loads of things they don't like and that they don't want to do in this life, in order to get to do some of the things that they really like.
I currently have a student who wants to become a medical doctor, but, he does not want to learn basic Bio Chemistry. There is another student who wants to be an engineer, but she doesn't want to take some of the courses the Faculty of Engineering requires. And this list goes on and on. A nurse who hates pharmacology. A student in business who hates all things English. A grade 12 student says "But I don't like Social, its boring." "I hate math and my teacher stinks!" If I had a dollar for every time I heard that one, I'd be on a beach!
I see and deal with this "I only have to do the things I want to do and I can ignore the rest" attitude on a daily basis. Students running the show. Students making decision about what they will and won't do, based on whether or not they like or approve of the idea.
I have even created a label for these students: 'Interest driven'. Meaning, that they will only put effort into things that interest them.
How ill prepared these students are for the rigors of real life. They struggle with the reality of having standards placed on them. They are so focused on the 'end' that the process is simply in the way.
Now before I come across as too harsh, let me assure you that I am clearly and firmly on the student's side. I want them to succeed and I want them to do, be, have anything that they want BUT I do not dance around the issue that they are going to have to do some things they don't want to do - and do them well - in order to get there. This often comes as an unpleasant surprise to them. This idea of conformity to external standards is confusing when their entire lives they have been told that they are supposed to be special or unique. "If I am so darn special, why do I have to do these things that I don't like?" And this tiny warning bell goes off in our brains- 'How did we get here?" "How did I lose control of my child?" "I think my kid is calling the shots." And the fight is ON!
Being unique in personality and interests is not a mutually exclusive idea from having to do things that are of little inherent interest. We all have to do both. Things we like and things we don't like. The irony in all of this, is that students who pick and choose where and when they will exert effort in school subjects, are the kids who end up having to earn their living in ways that are truly of no interest to them. When we make learning easier to accomplish, then students are less likely to be so selective in their efforts because they will be experiencing success in all subjects.
I know that there are students and parents who disagree with the courses that are being taught in schools. They often have a difficult time figuring out the value in some of the subjects. I leave the content of the curriculum to educators and work within the existing structure of the core courses, the ones that matter in terms of moving ahead to post-secondary; Math, English, Social Studies and Science. These 4 subjects form the core of knowledge that students are expected to know by graduation. In so many cases, I have students who are doing very well on their electives, such as photography or cooking, but bombing out on the core classes. Or, doing well in Social, but not in Math, or doing well in Math, but not in Social. I see all kinds of combinations. But the common theme is that the course or courses of poor performance are declared as either boring or the students simply ‘don’t like them’.
Until or even if the decisions makers related to course curriculum change the emphasis on the 4 core areas, we are pretty much stuck with them for the foreseeable future. Students need to have a level of competency within each of these courses and we the adults are responsible to assist them in acquiring this knowledge base. We cannot in good conscience, place expectations of high performance on students without giving them every chance or opportunity available to them to help in this achievement.
And that is why I do what I do. Every day, I am chipping away at the mountain of disinformation, poor teaching/learning practices, and a general malaise within the education system. It has been an uphill battle and a struggle every step of the way to get educators interested in managing learning through understanding the basics of the human brain. Students jump on board very quickly when they see how easy learning can be.
Please pass this blog along to anyone you may know who has a student who is struggling with the ‘interest driven’ method of learning and together, we can get them the help that they need.
Today, I just wanted to leave you a quick tip as a thank you for viewing my blog.
When you phone people or places and get a voice messaging system, here is the best way to leave your contact information.
Say your phone number twice. Now that we are always required to leave our area code, we are past the 7 digit capacity of the short-term memory. And even if we hear and recognize the area code, it still funnels through the short-term memory, taking up precious space and the actual phone number gets lost. I have to often replay (and that's time consuming) my phone messages because people rip through their phone number so fast that I don't have a chance to hear it correctly.
Make it easy for people to call you back. Slow down a bit, speak clearly, and give your phone number… twice. The people that you are calling will be grateful for the consideration and are much more likely to take the time to return your call.
Many high school students are overwhelmed by their first semester of university or college. They may be in class, bum in seat for 11-15 hours per week and all the 'other hours' can feel like free time. Ummm… not so my young friends.
We need to talk about ratios. (See, math does come in handy). These ratios refer to the amount of time you spend out-of-class to the time that you spend in class. For example, for every hour in class, your out-of-class time working on learning that material may be anywhere from no time at all, up to maybe 3 hours. So the ratio would be, for an easy example a 1:1. That means for every one hour in class you are spending one hour out-of-class learning the material. If you have 12 hours of class a week, that means you are using up an additional 12 hours on learning the material for a total of 24 hours. If you have 15 hours of class a week, a 1:1 ratio means you are spending 15 hours out-of-class time.
I have had so many first year, even 2nd and 3rd year post-secondary students with ratios that look like this: 1:0.25, or 1:0.5. These ratios mean that these students are spending most of their time in class, but very little other time on that lecture material. Then exams come and YIKES, these students sink like rocks.
This IS THE RATIO if you want to succeed. 1:2. For every hour in class you are spending at least 2 hours out-of-class on the lecture material, per day. For heavier courses, such as Biochemistry, Calculus, or Embryology, the ratios increase, likely up to 1:3.
How are your ratios and how are your marks?
Imagine this. You are out for dinner and when the server brings your meal, instead of eating it, you wrap it up and take it home and put it in the fridge. Then, the next night you go out again for dinner, wrap up your food, and put it in the fridge. You do this for 3 weeks, wrapping and storing. Finally, you get ravenously hungry and make a dash for the fridge, to find 3 weeks worth of old and unappetizing food. How much can you eat at one time? Can you eat 3 weeks worth in one night. I hope NOT.
Now, imagine that you are a student and every day you go to class and take down all the notes from your teacher or professor. You tuck those notes into your binder and store them for later. You do this every day for 3 weeks. Then, you realize that there is a big exam the next day. Out come 3 weeks worth of notes. How much can you learn at one time? Can you learn 3 weeks worth of material in one night. Probably not!
Your brain is much like your stomach. It prefers to be fed everyday, a bit at a time.
A few days ago, I was listening to a speaker talking about how lazy, unmotivated and basically moronic most people are when it comes to running their own lives. His argument was that people know what to do, but that they are too lazy or too unmotivated to do anything other than complain about their poor results.
I thought about that perspective and turned to my own experience over the many years I have had of working with students who are getting poor results in school. Maybe it is just the self-selected group of weary students who make their way to Genius by Choice for help, but I don't agree with this harsh judgment. While I do agree that not every student who knocks on my door is highly motivated, most are.
Rather than being lazy, unmotivated or moronic (his word, definitely not mine), most are stressed, fearful and have out-of-control anxiety over their inability to do well in school. I think just a handful of variables are essential for success.
One: A clear, well defined goal.
Two: An internally generated, high level of desire to achieve that goal
Three: A systematic, proven plan for achieving that goal.
Four: A high level of confidence in the plan.
Most of the students who come for help with their academics have only 1 of the 4 elements, and that is the high level of desire to do better. Generally, they have not set achievement goals. And none of them have a proven plan of how to succeed, and all of them have low confidence in their own abilities. But never have I interviewed a student who is actually lazy, unmotivated or moronic.
The truth is, at least in my experience, that the number one variable that low achieving students lack, is the proven plan. This guy insisted that people do know what to do, they are just, well.. you know, fill in his words. That is simply not the case. Many students are using outdated, never tested, poorly thought out and antiquated techniques that do not produce the desired results. When I work with their desire to improve and show them how to set goals, and how to achieve those goals and they have confidence in the plan, then we see results.
I would like to hear from you.
Do you think this 'speaker' was right about his assessment of 'most people'?
Do you think that everyone does know what to do but are too lazy to do it?
Which assessment makes you feel
Motivation and/or confidence continued.
I received some spectacular news today. One of my students was the top student, earning the highest grade point average of his entire 3rd year in the faculty of business. We were both so excited. We were doing the 'happy dance' for sure. What is so cool about this is that we chatted about his motivation and confidence scores that I had collected when he first came in for academic coaching. His scores were in the 'right direction', at that time, meaning his motivation score was higher than his confidence score. Today, both are at a 10, right where they should be. Interestingly, he is hoping to improve a bit next semester. His grades have opened many doors for him and he is being offered all sorts of opportunities. He reminded me again, what is possible when we have a strong desire to achieve a specific goal, recognize that we need guidance from someone who 'has been there and done it right', the humility to accept correction, and the determination to stick to the new plan.
For those of you following along on the Motivation or confidence blog, here is today's installment.
I always get students to set a goal and then take a measurement of motivation and confidence before and immediately after training and then 6 months later. Within my 12-hour training program, I can see increases as much as 30-40% in confidence. As students persist with my instructions, they immediately see results and their confidence scores reflect that.
If you are a leading authority or expert in your area and are in the business of helping people to change anything, be objective about it and get some measurements around the outcomes. A single goal, with a motivation and confidence score relative to that goal, will tell you so much that you will miss without this information. Because I allow some time to pass between the first, second and third measurements, students forget their initial scores and it is always a wonderful surprise for them when they see their scores going up.
I just want to again send out a congratulations to Brett. It is an honor to know you.
Motivation and/or confidence continued.
I received some spectacular news today. One of my students was the top student, earning the highest grade point average of his entire 3rd year in the faculty of business. We were both so excited. We were doing the 'happy dance' for sure. What is so cool about this is that we chatted about his motivation and confidence scores that I had collected when he first came in for academic coaching. His scores were in the 'right direction', at that time, meaning his motivation score was higher than his confidence score. Today, both are at a 10, right where they should be. Interestingly, he is hoping to improve a bit next semester. His grades have opened many doors for him and he is being offered all sorts of opportunities. He reminded me again, what is possible when we have a strong desire to achieve a specific goal, recognize that we need guidance from someone who 'has been there and done it right', the humility to accept correction, and the determination to stick to the new plan.
For those of you following along on the Motivation or confidence blog, here is today's installment.
I always get students to set a goal and then take a measurement of motivation and confidence before and immediately after training and then 6 months later. Within my 12-hour training program, I can see increases as much as 30-40% in confidence. As students persist with my instructions, they immediately see results and their confidence scores reflect that.
If you are a leading authority or expert in your area and are in the business of helping people to change anything, be objective about it and get some measurements around the outcomes. A single goal, with a motivation and confidence score relative to that goal, will tell you so much that you will miss without this information. Because I allow some time to pass between the first, second and third measurements, students forget their initial scores and it is always a wonderful surprise for them when they see their scores going up.
I just want to again send out a congratulations to Brett. It is an honor to know you.
Motivation and/or confidence continued.
I received some spectacular news today. One of my students was the top student, earning the highest grade point average of his entire 3rd year in the faculty of business. We were both so excited. We were doing the 'happy dance' for sure. What is so cool about this is that we chatted about his motivation and confidence scores that I had collected when he first came in for academic coaching. His scores were in the 'right direction', at that time, meaning his motivation score was higher than his confidence score. Today, both are at a 10, right where they should be. Interestingly, he is hoping to improve a bit next semester. His grades have opened many doors for him and he is being offered all sorts of opportunities. He reminded me again, what is possible when we have a strong desire to achieve a specific goal, recognize that we need guidance from someone who 'has been there and done it right', the humility to accept correction, and the determination to stick to the new plan.
For those of you following along on the Motivation or confidence blog, here is today's installment.
I always get students to set a goal and then take a measurement of motivation and confidence before and immediately after training and then 6 months later. Within my 12-hour training program, I can see increases as much as 30-40% in confidence. As students persist with my instructions, they immediately see results and their confidence scores reflect that.
If you are a leading authority or expert in your area and are in the business of helping people to change anything, be objective about it and get some measurements around the outcomes. A single goal, with a motivation and confidence score relative to that goal, will tell you so much that you will miss without this information. Because I allow some time to pass between the first, second and third measurements, students forget their initial scores and it is always a wonderful surprise for them when they see their scores going up.
I just want to again send out a congratulations to Brett. It is an honor to know you.
 |
Categories |
|
|
|
